Memo-rise

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“Nothing is really lost to us as long as we remember it.” ~ L.M. Montgomery

This is an excerpt that tries to exemplify the theme of “present and past”.  This theme discusses the role that emotions play in reciting details of the past.

***

How deep are my memories? How much in detail can I provide for the experience? Perhaps a room, or the first kitchen. How deep are my emotions, for my feelings have a hand in reconstructing the space for the events? For joy uplift me to see the past in light, bright light as I reconstruct my first play kitchen. A stove with plastic food as I stirred the food suspended in air. As my infant mind giggled with glee on my creation to offer my meal to mom.

‘Umm umm’ as I imitated my eating patterns.

How strong is fear as I withhold myself in retelling lost experiences that float on anxiety? As I locked myself at a washroom in the hospital. I kept on reading “Kimberly-Clark” in the washroom stall. For I did not understand what a brand means nor its purpose. As my only solution was sliding on the dirt filled floor through the opening found between the door and the ground. I know I suppress them, but only after I have fully experienced such emotions. Of pain, hurt, anger, frustration, despair. I suppress them so that they might not control me. I hold back my tears for I no longer react to such distaste.

As I look forward, how stained are my lens, my outlook on the world? For tears often turn my journey to vanity. I can only hope for my memories to exist as a vessel to lift me up.

 

©Kihek

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