“Nothing is really lost to us as long as we remember it.” ~ L.M. Montgomery
This is an excerpt that tries to exemplify the theme of “present and past”. This theme discusses the role that emotions play in reciting details of the past.
How deep are my memories? How much in detail can I provide for the experience? Perhaps a room, or the first kitchen. How deep are my emotions, for my feelings have a hand in reconstructing the space for the events? For joy uplift me to see the past in light, bright light as I reconstruct my first play kitchen. A stove with plastic food as I stirred the food suspended in air. As my infant mind giggled with glee on my creation to offer my meal to mom.
‘Umm umm’ as I imitated my eating patterns.
How strong is fear as I withhold myself in retelling lost experiences that float on anxiety? As I locked myself at a washroom in the hospital. I kept on reading “Kimberly-Clark” in the washroom stall. For I did not understand what a brand means nor its purpose. As my only solution was sliding on the dirt filled floor through the opening found between the door and the ground. I know I suppress them, but only after I have fully experienced such emotions. Of pain, hurt, anger, frustration, despair. I suppress them so that they might not control me. I hold back my tears for I no longer react to such distaste.
As I look forward, how stained are my lens, my outlook on the world? For tears often turn my journey to vanity. I can only hope for my memories to exist as a vessel to lift me up.