Forgive Them

Image result for marriage and abuse

“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”― Maya Angelou

This piece stems out from the many discussions of people that stay in relationship of abuse, whether it be emotional or physical. Don’t be afraid to speak up and reach out.

***

Seventy times seven

My mother told me

Forgive them for they

Do not know what they do

 

Seventy times seven

I watched his lies erode

From his lips

He’s eyes haunted me

Because of the way he watched me

He wanted to be sure of

A part of life he could control

That was Me

 

Seventy times seven

I opened my legs and invited him

As I took sedatives

I had to be a mother

That what marriage should feel like

As the heat from his body kissed my skin

And I pretended to love him

 

Seventy times seven

I watched his girlfriends

Trickle in and out of the house

Mary

Kate

Havanna

Savanna

 

Seventy times seven

I opened the doors of the hospital

Emergency room echoed

As people questioned for the presence of the father

As my belly grew

His heart shrunk

He became weary of me

I started to eat more

Hoping to digest my emotions

 

Seventy times seven

He called me ugly

Spat on me

He only showed mercy

When I reminded him of the life below my chest

But it would only be his

If It were a boy

Because “men create only boys”

 

Seventy times seven

I gave birth to a girl

And hell caved in the walls of my home

His eyes turned red

His words were like daggers

As they pierce my heart

 

Seventy times seven

I forgave him

I kept quiet

I shrank myself

I was living in an illusion of happiness

I broke down

I lost hope

 

Mamma never taught me of

‘Enough’

‘Freedom’

Seventy times seven

I forgive you

But I am agonised by my very existence

 

Image result for marriage and abuse

Seventy times seven

I won’t be able to sleep tonight

I am a vessel filled with sorrow

I am broken, lost and empty

As I open my palms and receive depressants

My marriage finally came to a halt

As he filed for an end so he can get involved with another

 

To my healthy baby girl

Seventy times seven

Forgive them

But be attentive of their true nature

People will reveal themselves

Time will tell

 

©Kihek

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